


Confession

by Warp5Complex_Archivist



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-25
Updated: 2006-02-25
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warp5Complex_Archivist/pseuds/Warp5Complex_Archivist
Summary: Archer doesn't tell Reed that he kissed that apothecary. (07/01/2002)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

  
Author's notes: Spoilers: Civilization  


* * *

After the Acoli mission ...

In a view lounge, late that night ...

"Hello."

He turned and glanced behind himself, smiling slightly at the tentative figure standing just inside the door. 

"Hi," he replied. For a moment he felt very tired and conflicted, nodding to Malcolm as he closed the door and pressed the locking device. 

"If you want to be alone ..." Malcolm asked, hesitating slightly.

"No," Jonathan replied emphatically, turning from the window and its brilliant panoply of stars just beyond. 

Malcolm relaxed slightly and stepped forward, embracing his lover tightly. They held each other closely, the silence comforting and then Malcolm sighed, stepping away toward the window.

"How are you, Jonathan?" he asked, his manner oddly formal.

Jonathan watched him, noting the tension in Malcolm's body. "I'm fine. And you?"

The younger man shrugged, his face reflecting his emotions. He turned and looked at Jonathan, considering his words carefully.

"They told us you were dead."

"I know," Archer replied, watching the tension in Reed's slim body.

"I remember just sitting there," he said, his arms encircling his chest tightly. "I felt ... I felt numb."

Jonathan nodded, reaching out. Malcolm leaned back, resting against the window that dominated the wall. Jonathan stared at him silently, his own turmoil obvious. It was awkward and he reached out again, touching Malcolm's chest. 

"It was only a moment but I remember thinking what if its true? What if it could all be over that fast?" Malcolm stared at the floor, at the shoes of his lover. He looked at them abstractly, noting their color as he considered his thoughts.

"I wasn't killed," Jonathan said gently. He moved closer to the tense man before him.

"I know," Malcolm replied, his pained eyes looking into Archer's. "I know that."

Jonathan sighed and closed the gap, standing in front of the window again. Malcolm stood beside him, the taller man's proximity warm and comforting. He turned and moved behind, slipping his arms around Archer's waist, resting his head on his lover's shoulder. He sighed deeply, the contact comforting. 

Archer's hands slid along Malcolm's arms, pulling them tighter around him. He sighed and considered the rest of the story, the parts that Reed didn't know. Something in him said not to say a word but another part disagreed. He remembered the conversation with Trip, the conflict he had about T'Pol's correspondence and felt turmoil. 

"Are you all right?" he asked, his voice soft and low.

Malcolm nodded. "Occupational hazard. I'll just have to learn to live with it."

"I guess we both will."

It was silent a moment and then Jonathan turned, pulling Malcolm into his arms. He kissed him tenderly, softly brushing his lips against his lover's. It was sweet and intimate, just what he wanted. He sighed and grinned.

"You look terrible."

Malcolm smiled, a sardonic look on his face. "Thanks. Makes a body feel appreciated."

"You have a much appreciated body," Jonathan said, pulling the younger man closer. His hands slid down Malcolm's body, resting on his ass. "Much appreciated."

Malcolm smiled and lay his head on Archer's shoulder, closing his eyes as his lover's hands roamed his body, soothing him with his touch. 

"The mission ..."

Archer nodded, kissing Reed's neck. "Um-hmm?"

"There was someone down there, a woman," Reed asked.

"There was. An apothecary," Jonathan replied, memories of a pretty woman with dark eyes filling his mind.

"You helped her?" Reed asked, tightening his arms around Jonathan's neck.

"We did," Jonathan replied, squeezing Malcolm tightly.

For a moment it was silent and then Jonathan sighed. "Malcolm ..."

Blue eyes met his, eyes filled with love and expectation. "Yes?" he asked.

Jonathan stared at him, at the expression in Malcolm's eyes and smiled. For a moment it brimmed in him to say out loud the rest of the story and then the moment died on his lips. He couldn't speak it, not to this man who was here every day with him, sharing his life and his trials and his bed. 

"I love you."

Malcolm's face transformed, his expression open and awash in emotion.

"You've never said that before."

Archer nodded, smiling. "I never have. I'm sorry for that."

Malcolm embraced him, relaxing into Archer's arms once more. "I love you too."

The stars passed by outside as they stood together in the darkness.

***

Three hours later ...

He rose from his bed, walking to his desk. The computer had messages but they could wait. He turned and looked at his dog sleeping on the foot of his bed. He envied him at that moment, the ability to shake off worries and things that ate at peace of mind. He would have given a lot to be able to do the same thing.

Malcolm had left after a long conversation. They had sat in the lounge together, talking over everything and nothing, touching each other with an intimacy that he had come to depend upon. Sex was only part of their connection. The attraction of their minds, of two disparate personalities was equally important to him.

He considered the woman he had spent time with, of the brief moment they had shared and was filled with emotion. It had been good, something that had just happened and because of it he felt terrible. He had betrayed his relationship with his lover and he didn't feel that he could tell Malcolm about it.

Trip had come to him over the T'Pol correspondence and he remembered telling the younger man that he thought he was the better man for deciding to be honest with her. He had wondered why Trip would consider telling. T'Pol wouldn't know and it would have been easier in most ways to let sleeping dogs lie.

Now he knew better. He didn't tell Malcolm about the moment of betrayal he had fallen into. He wasn't sure he could. Maybe he wasn't the better man, or even the man he thought he was. He just knew he didn't want to hurt Reed. He was sure in his heart that he loved him.

What would it mean in the long run? What would it cause between them if Reed ever found out? He didn't know. It was his weakness and his burden to bear alone.

The interlude with her was a strange thing. He liked her, he admired her. Feeling emotion about her was strange. He hadn't had that for a woman in more years than he cared to remember. What it meant about himself he wasn't sure. He was just glad to hold Malcolm again. That felt right.

Turning and staring at the sprawling figure of his dog, he moved to the bed and lay down, pulling his covers up to his chest. The shadows of light and dark played on the ceiling above him as the weak light of space bled into the room. Outside the stars were constant, going about their ordered lives with precision.

Inside, things were messier and a lot less predictable. Leaving the planet behind them, they were moving on to other adventures and other discoveries. As they did, he considered his own and sighed. It was unnerving how easy it had all been to slip. He promised himself he wouldn't do it again.

After a moment he reached out and touched a switch.

"Archer to Reed."

There was a brief pause and a soft voice answered. "Reed here."

He lay quietly and considered his words. "Goodnight."

There was another pause and then a voice responded, a smile evident in its soft response. "Goodnight."

Archer was a long time getting to sleep that night.


End file.
